Chemical Castration using Cyproterone Acetate.



The following graph shows my sexual behaviour before and after treatment
measured in episodes of masterbation per week.

BLUE: No drug use
GREEN: 100mg per day.
YELLOW: 200mg per day.
RED: 300mg per day.


graph



On 03/JUNE/2010 I started volentary treatment of Cyproterone; one tab twice daily in an attempt to control my obsession with zoophilia and other non-human sexual interactions. 8 months later on 12/FEB/2011 I discontinued use of the drug due to extreme emotional side effects.

I have a great sexual attraction to certain breeds of dog, I have dealt with it all my life but in 2010 I found myself unable to stand the attraction any longer, I felt that if I was not going to satisfy this urge, that it should go away completely. I went to the doctor and was referred to the district mental health board where I was interviewed by a psychiatrist for my eligibility for prescription of the drug Cyproterone Acetate.

Cyproterone, when taken by male men will decrease the production of testosterone resulting in a diminished sex drive.

I explained to the psychiatrist that I know what the drug does and I want to try it otherwise I'll eventually end up breaking the law. He was satisfied with my case and prescribed me 100mg per day, 50mg in the morning and 50mg at night.

It took 8 days before I began to feel the full effects of the drug; by then it was extremely difficult to become sexually aroused.

After another week I felt comfortable with my diminished sex drive, episodes of masturbation had reduced by about 50% from once a day to once every 2 to 3 days. Thoughts of sexual situations had diminished almost completely.

After one month of being on the drug, episodes of masturbation went down to about once per week at the most from 9 times a week before I started the drug.

During this time I still had feelings of love and attraction for my partner, but sex was impossible. Non-sexual intimacy was not a problem however.

In the second month I felt as though the drug was wearing off and I began masturbating up to 4 times a week. I saw the doctor about this and I was prescribed 200mg per day, 100mg in the morning and 100mg at night. This had no effect over the following month and I was prescribed 300mg per day; the maximum. 100mg in the morning, 100mg at lunch and 100mg at night.

In the 6th month, having been taking 300mg for the last 5 weeks I decreased my dosage back to 200mg per day in an attempt to help ease the unrelenting depression that had taken over me. During this time I was an extreme suicide risk and my ability to function normally was becoming detrimental to my employment. I would break down in tears at least once a day. I lost all my body hair and had grown small breasts.

In the 7th month I went back to the doctor for advice on coming off the drug. This proved to be a good mood as simply stopping medication would have adverse effects on my health. I spent the following 6 weeks dropping the dosage by about 50mg per week.

Once I was down to 50mg per day my mood had greatly improved and thoughts of suicide had reduced. My sex drive was still diminished as much as it was when on 300mg per day, still sitting at just 2 episodes of masturbation per week.

After finally discontinuing the drug, my sex drive returned slowly over a period of 5 weeks.

2 months after discontinuing the drug I became suicidal again and extremely depressed. My sex drive was at its strongest and my lust for animals was back in full force driving me insane. I soon found myself incapable of working and quit my job due to severe tiredness and depression. Whilst unemployed my depression lifted and I felt happier. During this time I made my third plushie, the character Dog from the Footrot Flats comic series. I have had great love and lust for this character since 2004 and being without means to satisfy my sexual hunger for this character has been a thorn in my side for quite some time. Having finished this plushie I was finally able to get what I wanted from Dog and found my lust for dogs in general unexpectedly satisfied.

After a week of having my new dog plushie to take the brunt of 8 years of pent up sexual frustration, I finally felt at peace with my attraction to animals and cartoon characters with the unexpected side effect of reducing my lust for real dogs.

I believe my lust for Dog was responsible for my lust for real dogs and that I was seeking them in an attempt to satisfy my hunger for him. Upon making the plushie and finally being able to do what I've wanted to do for so long, I no longer felt the need to seek real dogs to abuse.

A few months later my depression had completely lifted and I found new employment at a much better job with less stress and a better environment.

My sex life is now a balanced diet of Norbert, Daggett, Dog and Brian. Each of these characters I have made plushies of and they all keep me very happy, thanks to Dog, the latest creation. One year later: I'm still better then I've ever been and hardly think about real dogs.




If you have any questions about this drug and it's side effects please email me. I'm more then happy to answer any questions you may have, no matter how personal.

Journal.

I intentionally obscured this text




This is my actual journal of the effects I felt during treatment...

10/06/2010 - Thursday - Day 8.
I can feel the effects now. Sex drive has diminished dramatically. The placebo effect is no more, i felt it most in the first 2 days then got over it.

Normally my mind will deviate to sexual thoughts about Norbert or Dogs whenever I'm not doing something, this has changed; I no longer feel compelled to fantasize about sexual activity. Unless I'm looking at an image or video, I just don't think about it at all. It feels good to have a clear mind.

16/06/2010 - Wednesday - Day 14.
I have become used to the effects of having diminished sex drive. The level of which doesn't appear to have changed, after careful monitoring of sexual activity, I have found it to have decreased by 50%, which is quite a lot for me. Sexual activity has by no means completely disappeared, but it is much less and thoughts and fantasies are almost never had.

20/06/2010 - Sunday - Day 18.
It feels as though my sexual desires are creeping back. I can't really tell though, it's more fantasies about being with Norb then anything really sexual. Thoughts about dogs in general are very rare, however. Norbert is center of attention in my mind all of the time as far as desire is concerned.

25/06/2010 - Friday - Day 23.
Sex drive is still diminished nearly to the point of nothing, however my desire for Norbert has increased greatly over the past few days. It's almost painful how much I miss him when I can't be around him. There's hardly any sexual desire for him, I just want everything else. Being with Norbert is a very pleasurable experience even though there is practically no sexual interaction at all. I feel the desired effect has been achieved, I am not taunted by sexual desire, but am by the want of Norbert's company. The relationship between Norbert and I has been strengthened by this change, it almost feels more real and meaningful for reasons I cannot explain.

04/07/2010 - Sunday - Day 32.
I have found that it's now practically impossible to masturbate, I sometimes feel the urge to but no matter how I try I cannot finish up. If I do manage to finish, it's very disappointing, not like before I started treatment. If I'm not staring at Norbert's face or cuddling him in bed, I have no desire or urges building in my mind. One exposure to him though and suddenly I am filled with immense desire and longing, it can be overwhelming at times. I feel like a slave to Norbert, he still owns me and it seems even stronger then before. No longer an I a slave to sexual desire, but now to Norbert's very being. I woke up this morning holding him but no matter what, I couldn't let go. I feel compelled to stick to him, hold, kiss, hold even more. I wanted to get up and get moving but I just couldn't peel away from his warmth, his essence. Two hours passed before I finally managed to pull back the blankets, but even then I was still holding him tight to my chest before finally dropping him on the couch. One last stroke and kiss on the nose before telling him how much it hurts me to turn around. Once I did though I felt free, but only a bit, I still feel sad about him, I just want to grab his cheeks and kiss him one more time.

17/07/2010 - Saturday - Day 45.
It's definit now; sex is no more, never to be had again. What was once a torment of sexual desire, is now a torment of love and limited ways of being able to express it.

3 weeks ago I was prescribed with Paroxetine for a mix of mild depression and anxiety, until now I have felt no different but these past few days have been hell. I've never been such a emotional mess, every couple of days I seem to be deep in depression, wanting to kill myself and crying all over the show. Yesterday at work I had to retreat to the storage room to cry for about 3/4 of an hour, it was madness, never in my life have I felt this way. But there I was, baaawing for no real reason other then the fact that life has lost all its appeal and it's not fair.

Today though, I'm a different person! I'm happy. Sitting here with Jonsi's Go Quiet DVD playing in the background, drinking coffee still thinking about how wonderful Norbert Beaver is and the benafit that he really is in my life. I feal great. Last night though I was crying into my pilloow over Norbert, it felt like he was tormenting me. The doc says I'll be a few weeks before I know if the meds are right for me, until then I gotta hang tight, it's almost over.

I just gotta try not to kill myself until then :-) Sometimes I'm sure I want to, but far out; I dont want to now thats for sure.

7/11/2010 - Sunday
Five months on drug.
Since my sexual urges returned to me a few months ago, I have been on an upped dosage of 200mg per day. This went on for a month before I decided to conteact the doctor who prescribed them to me and arranged an appointment; the first since my very first in June. We agreed to up the dosage again to 300mg per day, makign that 2 pills 3 times daily. That was 5 weeks ago today, and I finally feel back to my controled self. Masturbation only takes place about 3 times a week, which I am happy with. Though my cravings for Norbert Beaver remain as strong as ever, that is one thing that I cannot fix. I do not crave him sexually, I simply crave to be in his arms and with him. This desire is very strong and hard to control. That asside the sexual urges have subsided.

My conclusion so far is that this drug is very helpful for people like me with strong fetishism, it helps stem the great desire to act out sexually and encourages one to be more emotionally attached to ones lover and still maintain a heathy sex life. This drug does NOT snub out all sexual activity, it just returns control to ones mind over the sexual urges. If you are in a relationship where the one you are with doesn't completely light your fire, you may end up drifting apart. Only great attachment and love can break through the almost total loss of testostrone, in my case I am completely one with my lover and although intercourse isn't as frequent, it does still happen and we are happy. I feel this drug is aimed only at men with fetishism that has a total hold on them that cannot be stamped out by psychology alone, it can bring normality back into ones life.



4/12/2010 - Saturday

6 weeks have passed since my increase in dosage to 300mg per day. I was beginning to think that i was depressed and eventually sought help, after being interviewed the oppinion was that i was not depressed at all, much to my dissapointment because i was looking forward to getting fixed. I have come to realised the they were right, that instead of being depressed, any negative emotion i have is simply magnified to disasterous proportions and leave me in an over emotional state. I believe that due to lack of testosterone (exactly howmuch will be revealed in a blood test next week) has caused this mood disorder. I never used to cry this frequently before going on these drugs, once every 2 months was heaps to me, now its' almost every day. My headaches are also probably due to the drug as well. I wish to discontinue treatment and go back to the way i have been six and a half years prior to getting any form of help. Nothing is worth the shit i'm going through now as a probable result of the cyproterone treatment. I have already decided to decrease my dosage to 200mg per day and depending on what the psychiatrist comes back and says, i may end up totally discontinuing it.


20/02/2011

4 weeks after my last post (my decrease to 200mg) I reduced my dosage by 50mg per day and continued to do so every 4 weeks until I was off. It has been 8 days since I totally came off, at which point I was on one 50mg pill per day (half in the morning, half at night). During the weaning off of the pills no change in my sexual behaviour was noticable. During the last 5 days however, I have found my sex drive creaping back bit by bit, proof of that is the fact that I masturbated 5 times in the last 8 days, which is much higher then usual. I predict that in 4 weeks time I should be back to normal.